THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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