yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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