Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
they need to just BURY HIM!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
