Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
