I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
