I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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