I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
