I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
