I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize