Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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