Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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