And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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