i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
