My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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