Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
