i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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