Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
