i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize