you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
