My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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