at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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