It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Randomize
