i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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