I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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