it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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