No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
