In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The Olympian is in my bed
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
