We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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