Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
