Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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