The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
