Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
