Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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