Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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