im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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