I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
