idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
