Define "chronic" masturbator.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
