That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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