Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
