there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
