It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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