Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
