That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
