But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
