This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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