census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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