I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
