i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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