Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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