Where is the hickey?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
