he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
