dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
