The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I will pee on everything he values.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
