Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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